Friday, December 17, 2010

At The Paradise There is Something on the Menu For Everyone

It's a new day at the Paradise Cafe where shirts and shoes are required and, yes, flip-flops are okay too.

We don't mind if you split a plate or split the bill. Just as long as you don't split the vote.

Who do you think served more Happy Meals Tuesday night after the city council meeting, McDonalds or the Paradise?

And yes, I am having fun with how Paradise owner Randy Rowse snuck onto the city council giving conservatives on the council a majority for the first time in years. In fact, I haven't had it this good since Joyce Dudley ran Josh Lynn out of the DA's office.

Do you have a large group or party? There is always our Applicant's room which seats up to 46. And of course we have a no-smoking-medical-marijuana section.

Are you familiar with our wine list? The "House" wine is made from sour grapes freshly harvested from the vineyards of local liberals and Democrats. Of course that's our red. Our featured white is a vintage Bendy.

And we have a few other additions to the menu. Besides that Grant House Waffle we introduced the other day we now serve Rice-A-Roni. (it's the Dale Francisco treat!) and there is a half-baked Michael Self. (And by the way, good luck trying to park your bicycle here when you come into eat.)

If you consider yourself a member of the Republican base, you will especially like our red meat. And did we mention that Meg Whitman dined here once?

You will have to bring your own cutlery with you. We sent all of our knives across the street to City Hall to slash the budget.

We've even reduced the prices on some of our menu items. That's because a lot of you will no longer be making a living wage.

And for the left leaning bloggers out there (gee, I wonder who that could be?) we will be glad to serve up a big helping of humble pie.

Well, at least the drinking here is still liberal.

(And yes, I do plan on going back to the Paradise to eat. I'll just be bringing my own food taster with me.)
© 2010 by Craig Smith and