Tuesday, November 30, 2010

It Must Have Looked Like The Line To Ride The Matterhorn

By the time Monday's 5:30 pm deadline rolled around, 45 people had applied to fill the vacancy on the Santa Barbara City Council.

I'll bet there are principalities in the Alps that don't have 45 subjects!

Next Tuesday night's interview session for the applicants figures to last longer than a Super Bowl pregame show.

Actually, that interview session might last longer than the pregame show and the game combined. Even if the game goes to overtime.

Hard to believe but despite there being 45 applicants, not every Tom, Dick and Harry applied. I mean, there's a Tom on the list (Tom Brooks Burgher) and a Dick, (Richard Goodfriend) but I don't see anyone named Harry.

I'm surprised at the number of names on the list that I don't recognize. Anyone know if that "Rent Is Too Damn High" guy applied?

I'm still investigating whether the list includes someone who is either newly wed or nearly dead. So far, nothing to report.

I know it's arbitrary, but maybe a good way to pare down the list is to eliminate any applicant who doesn't walk, ride their bike, take public transportation or carpool to next Tuesday night's meeting. Do they even have 45 parking spaces in the City Hall lot?

Of course, if all the applicants got together and arrived at the meeting on an MTD bus, it would still look like a clown car as an endless stream of passengers emerge from the vehicle.

And given the amount of time the bus will be parked there while people are getting off, who knows who might get thrown under it?

Given the low turnout in some of our elections in years past, instead of introducing the applicants to the voters they should introduce the voters to the applicants. It might take less time.

The long hours and low pay don't seem to have scared many people away. The last time I checked, the job of council member payed a little over $36,000 a year.

That wouldn't be enough money to entice me, but I have an $8 a day cappuccino habit to support.

Tuesday's interview session figures to be long in duration and short on entertainment value. Too bad this isn't San Francisco where we would be assured of at least one applicant showing up to the meeting dressed in a hooker-tight suit.

A few people have asked if I'll be covering the meeting. I'm still undecided on that as it depends on whether my demands are met. And what are my demands you ask?

A bucket of Popeye's Fried Chicken, a six-pack of root beer and a guaranteed seat on the aisle so I can easily get up to go to the bathroom.

If there's one thing I know how to do it's how to settle in for a long night.
© 2010 by Craig Smith and www.craigsmithsblog.com