Monday, March 23, 2009

Bill Kills and Gavin Thrills

My friend Leslie Westbrook tells me that I'll use any excuse to put a picture of a pretty girl on my blog.

Just to prove to her that I'm an equal opportunity mug poster, I thought I'd run this photo of San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom, who was here in Santa Barbara Friday to campaign for governor.

I know what a beautiful woman looks like, but I'm confounded as to why women find certain men handsome. (I'm thinking Brad Pitt here.) So, I'll have to trust the word of my female advisory council when they tell me that Newsom is a "dreamboat."

In Spanish, "mayor" means "major," so rather than call him "Mayor Cutie Patootie" as Cookie Jill did, I say just call him "Mayor Heartthrob." The point comes across in either Spanish or English.

I hope Newsom takes care of himself over what figures to be a long campaign. Those good looks might not last forever. Just ask Mickey Rourke.

So how many people showed up to see "Mayor Heartthrob" at the Veteran's Memorial Building on Friday night?

Depends upon who you read. The Daily Sound reported the number as being "more than 100 people." The News-Press put the size of the crowd at "nearly 200. "City Council candidate, David Pritchett, in a comment posted at Edhat, said the number was "at least 300."

For what it's worth, and no offense to any of the other reporters who covered this story, but the most experienced reporter there, former News-Press editor Jerry Roberts, described the audience on his Capitol Letters Blog as, "an SRO crowd of more than 250."

Whatever the number, it paled by comparison to the audience that nearly filled the Arlington Theater (capacity 2200) on Saturday night to hear comedian Bill Maher.

Evidently, a comedian talking a blue streak is a bigger draw than a politician talking until he's blue in the face.

I was in the audience and Maher was wickedly funny. He opened up by thanking the crowd for coming out in the midst of a recession which, he observed, "must have hit Montecito pretty hard."

Early on, when one of his jokes failed to elicit the riotous response he obviously expected, he admonished the audience "to get the stick out of your a__." That comment caused me to wonder whether he had spotted Wendy McCaw somewhere in the house.

Actually, I think any impaled posteriors probably belonged to couples who were there on a first date.

I haven't heard that much X-rated language on the Arlington stage since Redd Foxx played here over 25 years ago. (Or since Tom Sneddon learned the verdict at the Michael Jackson trial.)

Maher had a tough job in that he didn't have an opening act to get the audience warmed up. He was on the stage telling jokes non-stop for nearly two hours.

Once he was done he seemed in a hurry to get out of there. I guess there must have been a party at the Playboy Mansion that night.

One of the few things Maher said that I can recount on this PG-13 rated blog is his observation that although Osama Bin Laden had vowed to destroy the U.S. economy, it was a Jew named Bernie Madoff who beat him to it.

Oh yeah, and he described Sarah Palin as a "MILF." As in, "moron I'd like to forget."

And while it has nothing to do with either Gavin Newsom or Bill Maher, I thought I'd point out that KEYT has finally updated its website to include a bio of its newest hire, reporter Coleen Sullivan.

Here's the head shot that goes along with her bio.

You wouldn't want me to prove my friend Leslie wrong would you?
© 2009 by Craig Smith and